One of the most common phrases I hear in coaching sessions:
“I know I shouldn’t take this personally.”
When things go wrong, well-intended leaders and team members often say, “It’s just work. Don’t take it personally.”
Behavioral science tells us this is an emotional regulation strategy. An attempt to help someone detach from stress, preserve confidence, and reframe the situation as “just business.”
But here’s the problem: work we care about is personal.
Our contributions are tied to our identity, values, and reputation. It’s not realistic to care less about the work we’ve invested time, energy, and talent into.
Instead of trying to disconnect from something you care deeply about, try:
- Focus on what’s in your control. Identify the next action you can take to move the work forward.
- Separate the outcome from your contributions. The result is feedback about this specific effort, not your overall impact.
- Move towards continuous improvement. Ask, What worked? What didn’t? What will I try next time?
The goal isn’t to care less. It’s to channel that care into learning, resilience, and the next best step forward.
Are you ready to level up your leadership? Let’s connect about how coaching can benefit you and your organization. Email me at julie@coreyjamison.com.
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Julie Bush specializes in working with leaders and teams to develop ways of working that improve team alignment, cohesion and results. She is a sought after coach of leaders across many levels of experience, and over a wide range of industries. Specializing in the opportunities and challenges facing emerging leaders, Julie helps people navigate the world of work, plan a career path, and integrate the aspects of a robust and rewarding personal and work life. Julie has worked with leaders and teams in organizations that range in size from Fortune 100 to start-ups.